March 2010
So, today's sunday.
Meaning you guys are probably all doing your homework right now right? Cause no one does their homework on saturday or friday right? And that also must mean you’re on aim but no one’s talking to you cause they don’t want to disturb you but you wish you were talking to someone cause you’re bored right? Well, so am I. So if you’re bored and doing homework, let’s...
February 2010
But no one cares about hockey!
Why is hockey EVERYWHERE today?
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I stuffed my pockets with copious amounts of...
I feel so classy right now.
8.8 in Chile →
Are you serious? First Haiti and now this? Is the world ending?!
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Oh hey, Doug. What've you been doing awake since 5...
OH, NOTHING, DOUG. I’ve just been studying for the shit load of tests and papers due today! I ever so love getting up at 5am JUST to hit these books. The smell of old school text books is like the smell of a field of flowers for me. It’s fantastic! I can’t wait til the next time I have to do this again!
No but 4reel, today is going to rape me in the ass and not even Oprah will...
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Sleep.
It’s almost like it doesn’t exist anymore.
nopenothappening asked: Hey Doug, nice wig. What's it made out of?
rebeccadolly asked: Favorite celeb you wanna date?
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My "ex-girlfriend" changed her nickname to LiL...
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I hate checking out college guys that are way too...
It makes me feel like a needy fetus.
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This chick in a bright pink track suit with "PINK"...
ABOUT TO CUT A BITCH
Tommarow
Tommarow
Tommarow
Tommarow
Tommarow
THIS IS NOT HOW “TOMORROW” IS SPELLED.
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I hate it when I'm waiting in line to pay for my...
Why do ya gotta make ME feel bad?!
My reaction to the statement, "Tomorrow's...
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Mom: Ya know, back in Vietnam when I was young, there used to be these tunnels by our house that we could hide in whenever our area was attacked
Me: Uh huuuh..
Mom: and whenever that happened, your uncles and aunts and I would always take food and music and games in there to play while we hid from the communists
Mom: and whenever a bomb exploded nearby, us kids would always scream and laugh!
Me: ...that's.. kinda scary, mom.
Mom: Well it was only scary for the adults. We thought it was GREAT FUN!
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So I just found a folder filled with all of my...
And I found all of my birthday cards that my classmates made for me that year. So, deciding to take a stroll down memory lane, I read through all of them and one, I shit you not, said:
“Happy Birthday Dickless! ♥♥♥”
OH YEAH. My nickname back in elementary school used to be “Dickless.” Oh, fun times, fun times.
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I was GOING to get up and do something productive...
Now? Now I will watch this spanish-dubbed asian movie on one of the spanish channels and eat my weight in sour patch kids and twizzlers. Life is good.
I enjoy people watching.
Barista: Hi, how can I help you today?
Teenage girl: Uh, hey. Can I get a vanilla latte without the vanilla?
Barista: So you just want a latte?
Teenage girl: No, I want a vanilla latte without the vanilla.
Barista: So.. a latte
Teenage girl: No! I JUST WANT A REGULAR VANILLA LATTE WITHOUT THE VANILLA. IS THAT SO HARD?
I think Chuck Norris just said "porn" on my tv.
wat.
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What do you do on a saturday when you don't want...
You bake some mother fucking cookies like YEAH.
So it's been decided that I will leave California...
But I probably won’t have any money so I’m just going to live on da streetz and become a maid for some prick and clean their toilet. But it’s okay, cause I would have lived my dream of going to New York, right? NO BIG DEAL. RIGHT?
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Someone please tell me why all the gays are in...
DA BAY AREUH GAYS REPRESENT!
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Ya know those days where
you wake up feeling like freakin’ Jesus Christ? Like when you look outside and the weather is just amazing and you can hear birds chirping and some orchestra is playing some sort of happy symphony that no one knows the name of? And so since the day seems so nice you just feel good all day and you just walk around with the biggest smile on your face. You smile and wave to all the strangers...
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I FOUND BREAKFAST.
some pickles, a glass of water, and the party-sized bag of barbeque lays which i fell asleep next to last night.
Contents of my fridge as of Friday, February 19:
Ketchup
Pitcher of water
Pickles
Nailpolish
Obviously, there is something wrong here.
Josh: knock him out with a club, drag him to the...
Do you use AIM?
Well so do I! Dougiegoesrawr.
Shut up, I know it’s stupid. I made it when I was like, 11.
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