April 2010
2 tags
While at Target,
J: Woah! Look at that huuuuge clock!
Doug: HUGE COCK?!
Apr 30th
8 notes
1 tag
ListenWolf Parade | I’ll Believe In Anything ...
Apr 29th
1 note
Q: How do I feel about my period?
Uuuuh, we’re like, we’re like this. I love it. 
Apr 29th
9 notes
Apr 28th
3 notes
Apr 27th
Apr 25th
Anonymous asked: SO WHAT.
Apr 25th
2 notes
Anonymous asked: U should post some naked pix. Kthx.
Apr 25th
I turn into a diva when I'm hungry.
Apr 23rd
1 tag
Creepy psycho murderous Doug is out to GETCHA.
Apr 20th
2 tags
So a man is about to get his green card.
But before he’s able to get it, his instructor says there’s one more thing he has to do before he can get the card. “You must use the words green, pink, and yellow all in a sentence,” says the instructor. So after a couple minutes of thinking, the man replies with, “The phone green, I pink up the phone, and I say yellow!” 
Apr 18th
1 tag
Apr 18th
31 notes
Apr 18th
Apr 18th
Apr 16th
1 tag
I hate how I can never eat a banana without...
No, 12 year old girl, I was not looking at you. No, I was not drooling from the mouth and pretending it was a penis. But yes! I am gay.
Apr 16th
11 notes
Call when you want but there's no one home and...
Apr 15th
Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
Apr 14th
WatchWatch
IT’S ABOUT TIME GLEE CAME BACK.
Apr 14th
Apr 13th
1 tag
Jelly Beans.
You know that one person that you think would be a good person once you meet them but they just end up being super supremest and a dick? Yeah? You do? Good.  I don’t like these people. They’re like those god awful jelly bean flavors like coconut or liquorice of the box. The thing is, your favorite flavors just so happen to be the same colors as the nasty gross ones you hate and so...
Apr 13th
1 tag
Apr 13th
Apr 11th
On the mic is the queen now listen to me sing. He...
Apr 11th
3 notes
My parents are always going to charity events or...
They always attend these dinners or these shows but I always wonder if that’s what they’re actually doing. Like, are they REALLY donating to poor Tibetan monks and starving children in Africa or are they in a club somewhere dancing? I’m wondering what would happen if I call. 
Apr 11th
4 notes
We're learning about limits in my math class and...
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!
Apr 9th
8 notes
Apr 9th
Apr 8th
MOTHER'S AMIGA ADDING ME ON FACEBOOK?
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Apr 8th
Not Adam and Eve, but Adam and Steve.
Apr 7th
Apr 7th
To the dick that stole my ipod charger:
I will HUNT YOU DOWN.
Apr 6th
7 notes
3 tags
ListenFIRST I WAS AFRAID. I WAS PETRIFIED!
Apr 6th
1 note
1 tag
Apr 5th
6 notes
Apr 5th
1 tag
ListenKe$ha - Take It Off download
Apr 3rd
Apr 3rd
4 tags
So I just bribed my english teacher with a...
I’m such a good student, y’all!!
Apr 3rd
rebeccadolly asked: Dougieee
Why haven't we hung out yet? :(((((
Apr 3rd
Apr 3rd
jasondoes-deactivated20100831 asked: Um, hai. Your mother is hilarrrrious XD
Apr 3rd
1 tag
LOL TEXTS WITH MOM PART II
Mom: are you mad at me now? It's okay don't worry! I'll set up a date with a nice girl for you and it'll be all better
Apr 1st
13 notes
1 tag
Texts with mother
Mom: hey do you wanna go to Europe for spring break?
Me: NO WAY. REALLY?
Mom: APRIL FOOLZZ!
Apr 1st
8 notes