A gold Us: Archive

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Aug 1st

1 note

2 tags

Me: Hahahaha Person: It’s not that funny..

Jul 31st

Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious are both on right...

I can’t decide which to watch. iM sO tOrN i DoNt NoE wAt 2 dO~

Jul 31st

4 notes

2 tags

I'm great with kids.

When you’re out and about and you see a happy family and their kids do you ever imagine what they would look like in the future? And then after you come up with an image of what they’d look like would you try to see yourself dating them? Well I do. I did that yesterday on the bus when a woman and her baby boy got on and I was probably like, “Oooh, that boy is gonna be so qt when...

Jul 31st

minjoe replied to your photo: Yo sup gaiz. Today was the first day I looked at my tumblr crushes and you weren’t number one ;_; YO DIS SHIT DON’T FLY WIT ME

Jul 31st

2 notes

2 tags

Jul 30th

Brother: What're you doing?
Me: Eating.
Brother: Oh, can I have some?
Me: No.

Jul 30th

1 tag

Today, I taught my brother how to hold a baby.

I used the 10 pound bag of dog food we bought to use as the baby.

Jul 30th

Jul 28th

5 notes

Jul 28th

4 notes

1 tag

Jul 26th

1 tag

Jul 25th

1 note

This is as exciting as our conversations ever get.

Ed: Guess what
Me: What.
Ed: Nothing. 
Ed: Nothing at all
Me: ...
Ed: Yeah, you loved it. wasn't it nail biting

Jul 24th

Jul 23rd

7 notes

Jul 23rd

2 notes

jasondoes-deactivated20100831 asked: I'm sure you've seen this, but I died, and it reminded me of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb2SCBRuDN4

Jul 23rd

Spotted:

Man walking around the library in a shirt with a picture of his baby’s mama lolzz

Jul 21st

1 tag

Jul 21st

8 notes

Like.

Facebook needs to make it so that you can’t accidentally like someone’s status just because the like button was right there and your mouse was going absolutely crazy. I just accidentally liked someone’s funeral. Woops.

Jul 21st

10 notes

“Everybody makes mistakes. Like one time, I was in a hotel room in Tampa, Florida with this girl. She was going down on me and I turned on the light cause I like to look and I see that it’s a dude! And I’m like, ‘YO… finish up!’”

Jul 21st

Jul 20th

5 notes

3 tags

Jul 20th

3 notes

1 tag

Jul 20th

Things I learned this weekend:

Camping outdoors sucks. It only works if you’re under a roof. I just can’t drink straight up coffee. I’m a pussy. I’m going to major in internet creeping.

Jul 19th

jasondoes-deactivated20100831 asked: Salt. Salt and cayenne pepper. By themselves? Like an afternoon snack or...?

Lol wait a second.

Jul 17th

1 note

1 tag

Hot days turn sleepy Doug into a raging bitch

Me: (on the phone) blah blah cock blah gay blah penis
Brother: hey, doug! hey doug!
Me: (still on the phone) blah blah rainbows blah unicorns blah sprinkles
Brother: Doug! Douglas! Dooooooug!
Me: WHAT? CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I AM ON THE PHONE? HASN'T MOM TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN TO INTERRUPT SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PHONECALL?
Me: rood.

Jul 17th

I'm Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinsky, Nicki the ninja,...

I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch.

Jul 16th

3 notes

Jul 16th

3 notes

2 tags

I just caught my little brother applying my mom's...

His response: “It’s not what you think. I only wanted to know what it feels like.” well then.

Jul 16th

1 tag

Jul 16th

474 notes

Whenever I wear new clothes I always try to act like it’s no big but in my head I’m always anticipating for someone to say something about my outfit. Of course, I like to be modest and say that they’re too nice but the moment someone says something my first reaction will most likely be

Jul 16th

1 tag

Jul 15th

1 tag

Jul 14th

Doug, what're you doing on the Urban Outfitters...

You’re poor, you don’t belong there.

Jul 11th

JOSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

Josh: Would I look weird in [these glasses]?
Me: do.. you need glasses?
Josh: No. They're fake.

Jul 11th

2 tags

Bonding.

My 12 year old cousin: Ugh, I hate having girl problems.

Me: omg i know!

Jul 11th

1 tag

My 9 year old brother keeps talking to me about...

What the hell are kids doing on google these days.

Jul 11th

Jul 10th

2 notes

I don't ever need coffee in the morning when I...

I don’t need it to feel energized or awake! I can just stub my toe on my bed post every morning. Of everyday. For the rest of my life. Fuck, this hurts.

Jul 9th