tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
Me: Hahahaha Person: It’s not that funny..
Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious are both on right...
I can’t decide which to watch. iM sO tOrN i DoNt NoE wAt 2 dO~
I'm great with kids.
When you’re out and about and you see a happy family and their kids do you ever imagine what they would look like in the future? And then after you come up with an image of what they’d look like would you try to see yourself dating them? Well I do. I did that yesterday on the bus when a woman and her baby boy got on and I was probably like, “Oooh, that boy is gonna be so qt when...
minjoe replied to your photo: Yo sup gaiz. Today was the first day I looked at my tumblr crushes and you weren’t number one ;_; YO DIS SHIT DON’T FLY WIT ME
Brother: What're you doing?
Brother: Oh, can I have some?
Today, I taught my brother how to hold a baby.
I used the 10 pound bag of dog food we bought to use as the baby.
This is as exciting as our conversations ever get.
Ed: Guess what
Ed: Nothing at all
Ed: Yeah, you loved it. wasn't it nail biting
jasondoes-deactivated20100831 asked: I'm sure you've seen this, but I died, and it reminded me of you.
Man walking around the library in a shirt with a picture of his baby’s mama lolzz
Facebook needs to make it so that you can’t accidentally like someone’s status just because the like button was right there and your mouse was going absolutely crazy. I just accidentally liked someone’s funeral. Woops.
“Everybody makes mistakes. Like one time, I was in a hotel room in Tampa, Florida with this girl. She was going down on me and I turned on the light cause I like to look and I see that it’s a dude! And I’m like, ‘YO… finish up!’”
Things I learned this weekend:
Camping outdoors sucks. It only works if you’re under a roof. I just can’t drink straight up coffee. I’m a pussy. I’m going to major in internet creeping.
jasondoes-deactivated20100831 asked: Salt. Salt and cayenne pepper. By themselves? Like an afternoon snack or...?
Lol wait a second.
Lol wait a second.
Hot days turn sleepy Doug into a raging bitch
Me: (on the phone) blah blah cock blah gay blah penis
Brother: hey, doug! hey doug!
Me: (still on the phone) blah blah rainbows blah unicorns blah sprinkles
Brother: Doug! Douglas! Dooooooug!
Me: WHAT? CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I AM ON THE PHONE? HASN'T MOM TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN TO INTERRUPT SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PHONECALL?
I'm Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinsky, Nicki the ninja,...
I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch.
I just caught my little brother applying my mom's...
His response: “It’s not what you think. I only wanted to know what it feels like.” well then.
Whenever I wear new clothes I always try to act like it’s no big but in my head I’m always anticipating for someone to say something about my outfit. Of course, I like to be modest and say that they’re too nice but the moment someone says something my first reaction will most likely be
Doug, what're you doing on the Urban Outfitters...
You’re poor, you don’t belong there.
JOSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Josh: Would I look weird in [these glasses]?
Me: do.. you need glasses?
Josh: No. They're fake.
My 12 year old cousin: Ugh, I hate having girl problems.
Me: omg i know!
My 9 year old brother keeps talking to me about...
What the hell are kids doing on google these days.
I don't ever need coffee in the morning when I...
I don’t need it to feel energized or awake! I can just stub my toe on my bed post every morning. Of everyday. For the rest of my life. Fuck, this hurts.
turtwig asked: PIPLUP AND CHIMCHAR ARE SMALL-TIME.
What usually happens when I surf tumblrs
awful posts awful music all reblogs ATTRACTIVE GPOYW? FOLLOW! regret regret regret never click “unfollow” in hopes of seeing more pictures
Anya Marina - Whatever You Like (cover) download
fucking flaming tampons
I HATE THE WORLD SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.