A gold Us: Archive

antiquefishtank-deactivated2012 asked: Oh, sweeet! Where are you gonna transfer afer? :) I think I'm gonna apply to SF State, SJ state, UC Davis and uh... I don't know. :O

Aug 1st

So we're watching Human Centipede...

YOU GUYS IF YOU EVER WALK INTO A HOUSE WITH SIAMESE TWIN FETUS WALL ART JUST GET OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT

Jul 31st

1 tag

People on the east coast: IT’S HOT AS BALLS OUT HERE Me: Stupid wind keeps blowing all my napkins away!

Jul 31st

Jul 30th

175,196 notes

1 tag

I'm going to learn how to pick locks with bobby...

That way I won’t ever be stranded in the mountains for 4 hours while I figure out how to get my keys out of my car.

Jul 30th

3 notes

Jul 30th

525 notes

Hate school. Hate financial aid. Hate signing up...

Jul 29th

4 notes

Jul 29th

31,081 notes

1 tag

CHODE BROS.

Jul 29th

2 notes

6 tags

Tutoring Abraham

Me: Alright, read section 9.5 and the examples but don't do exercise 100
 *couple of minutes*
Abraham: I don't see the examples and I already did these exercises
Me: ..Did you read to the bottom of the page?
A: yeah but I still don't see them
Me: T__T what do you do when you finish reading a page in a book?
A: .....
M: YOU FLIP IT.
A: Oh! WELL YOU DIDN'T TELL ME TO!
M: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO

Jul 29th

7 notes

12:18 am

you have been in living room on laptop since 8pm you hear someone open bedroom door quickly grab book so that you do not get judged for doing the same thing (nothing) for a good 4 hours

Jul 28th

5 notes

1 tag

I would make an excellent friend

Me: I was singing BFB to myself when I realized you're the only one of us that has brothers. I don't know how to feel about this anymore.
Izzy: Ashamed is how you should feel. Victoria Justice?!
Me: I LOVE IT LIKE A LOVE SONG, BABY.
Izzy: UGH HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF

Jul 28th

2 tags

Jul 28th

4 notes

I'm sorry I knocked over your trashcans earlier.

But in hindsight you probably shouldn’t have let your dog shit on my lawn thinking no one saw. Because someone saw. I saw.

Jul 28th

nicoleerenee replied to your video: MY BEST FRIEND’S BROTHER IS THE ONE FOR ME. Selena Gomez? Fine. But this?! This is where I draw the line. BUT YOU CAN’T THIS IS MY DATING SUTRA

Jul 28th

2 notes

Jul 28th

1 tag

Jul 28th

3 notes

3 tags

Jul 28th

2 notes

Jul 27th

2 notes

1 tag

Anne Frank walks into a bakery

helveticunt: oh wait

Jul 27th

6 notes

5 tags

Me: GOD ABRAHAM STOP FARTING 
Abraham: But I didn't fart!
M: I can smell it!
A: But I didn't do it!
M: I. CAN. SMELL. IT. 
A: I didn't!
A: okay, i forgot if i did or not.

Jul 27th

6 notes

4 tags

FFFFUUUUUHHHHH

Broham: Oh god, what's that smell?
Me: What're you talking about?
M: *moments later* Aw jeez, you're right, it smells awful.
B: I think it's dad. Gross
 *Couple of more moments later*
B: Okay sorry I farted.

Jul 27th

5 notes

2 tags

All I want to do is download the es-econd es-eason of digimon and watch it while ignoring the rest of the world es-ince i need to get used to being a digidestined because my digivice is bound to get here any day now. but my es-tupid es-low ass internet is telling me i need to wait 10 hours or some obnoxious amount of time but I es-imply cannot do it. CANNOT DO IT, I ES-AY. My life is es-o hard...

Jul 27th

Jul 25th

1 tag

There is no reason to go to Comic Con other than...

Jul 25th

3 notes

doctorprincess asked: change your tumblr name to strictly dickly!

Jul 25th

4 notes

Jul 25th

9 notes

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink6(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

Jul 22nd

My last behind the wheel was today but I left my...

Today? JACKIE CHAN ADVENTURES ON NETFLIX AND ENDLESS CRYING.

Jul 22nd

7 notes

2 tags

“See your dog wouldn’t go and look up porn on your laptop.”

– Doug Huynh 2k11 (regarding his 10 year old brother looking up porn on his desktop AND his laptop)

Jul 22nd

7 notes

1 tag

Jul 22nd

2 notes

Jul 22nd

68,273 notes

Jul 21st

1 tag

My little brother has been watching porn on my laptop. What? Since when was this going on? I’m gonna yell like I have never yelled before at this kid. YOU ARE 10. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. You’ll be lucky to even be considered alive and breathing by the time the day is over. I seriously want to wake him up this instant and immediately begin screaming at him. But I’m not going to....

Jul 21st

4 notes

Jul 21st

1,103 notes

Jul 20th

129 notes

Jul 20th

15,318 notes

1 tag

Jeez, since Borders is closing I no longer have anywhere to go to secretly read gay erotica while in the religion section. But oh, what wonderful times those were.

Jul 20th

7 notes