Oh my god Jose how you're handling that status is...
antiquefishtank-deactivated2012 asked: Why does your brother want to be white? LOL
First day of college is tommorrow.
Oh my god. It’s finally happening. Don’t know what to expect but I’m excited!
That awkward moment when the character on the tv...
…well then. We could have been very happy together.
I think Girls Generation is the only group that...
Gay turned straight.
I like being friends with pre-frat bros cause I...
SOMEONE WATCH SECRET CIRCLE WITH ME SO THAT WE CAN...
I really like New Girl.
Sorry but I’m not sorry
I wanted to watch this video but it was for...
So I put in my birthday, and it worked! I didn’t even have to lie. #feelsgoodman
A (Not Really) Open Letter To My Hot Nurse
Dear Hot Nurse, Hey. Hi! How are ya? Good? Great to hear, me too. Totes excited for this colonoscopy and endoscopy. Maybe afterwards we can grab lunch, yeah? I’m trying really hard not to act like a school girl because a. my mom is in the room b. there are multiple doctors in the room and c. you’re trying to put this IV into me (for the fourth time) but it doesn’t seem to be...
“Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I’m a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That’s right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age...
On turning 18
You feel weird for the first 24 hours and then regret not eating more at your dinner buffet.
My colonoscopy and endoscopy are tomorrow so in order to prepare I have to drink this crazy laxative and am not allowed to eat ANYTHING til after the procedure. I’m sitting at home running back and forth from the bathroom and cursing the ice cream man that decided to come back to my block every 15 minutes.
ukelaurel: Okay, it’s my friend Doug’s birthday today so I made him a video. And it’s really bad/humiliating, but it’s his birthday so why not? He might as well enjoy my humiliation. Anyways, I was going to ukulele but then I found a backing instrumental for Bottom’s Up….so yeah. That took care of that one. And now my followers (who don’t already know) can experience the embarrassing,...
oceanographe asked: I CAN UKULELE FOR YOU TOO. ANY REQUESTS? I WANT REQUESTS. I WANT TO BE RUDE TO MY ROOMMATES
doctorprincess: It took me way too long to learn how to play this, and even longer to upload it, and it still sounds awful. But I love Doug, and it’s his birthday, so this will exist on the internet forever. You guys I love my friends so much. I also love this because you can hear the agony in her voice as she goes along, haha. #laughingtokeepfromcrying
Sometimes I'm so funny that I can't even...
Laurel: The chinese roommate who kept complaining about me eating ramen is moving out in a few weeks!
Me: Chinese? More like Pinche-nese! LOLOLOLOL
If life was fair I would be a Kardashian and...
It's so nice outside!
But it doesn’t matter because I’m gonna be watching digimon all day.
You is kind, you is smawt, you is impor'nt.
The Time I Almost Died →
This is terrifying but I bet a shiny penny you won’t stop reading.