"Hey Doug, how are you? Your eyes look smaller...
drawrstubbs: Fun music to draw to!
agoldus asked: Doug. D-Doug. Douglas, go study. Go; right now. Come on you don't have any time to waste. You're gonna fail. Don't be mad when I tell you I told you so. GO. RIGHT NOW. JUST READ YOUR STUPID BOOK, DOUGLAS.
Me: Mom I got a present for you today!
Her: Oh how nice! What is it?
Me: It's my loooooooooooove
H: That comes with a gift receipt right?
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma....
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
It’s 11:30 and I’m trying on party outfits but got too lazy to take it off and I don’t want to sleep or go to school… …so I video. I’m a good singer right guys? Like, really, really good right?
It's okay, J. Lo, no one understands nip slips...
Sincerely yours, Low Cut Tank Top
I'm trying to teach myself how to play Pumped Up...
All I really want is a boyfriend to do stuff with. I just want to be able to do cute stuff like hold your hand while driving and sing really badly to the radio or buy you gifts and when you ask me why I’ll say, “just because.” I want to playfully kiss you when you’ve had a bad day and aren’t in the mood but let me anyway because I think that bit of submission is a...
Finish showering and decide to check tumblr rull...
Naked for half an hour.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
Wait so is Misfits done for the season?! They...
SOMEONE SAY IT ISN’T SO.
What A Father Should Do When His Gay Son Talks... →
After spending three weeks studying John Sutter, Levi Jeans, and the disappointment of disillusioned dreams, the fourth grade class at Lakeside Farms Elementary School would partner up, receive a piece of twine, and mine the field for pieces of gold. Alec — who helped me get through the Forest Temple in the Legend of Zelda on N64 in third grade — had been my friend since before we knew how to...
oceanographe asked: When I'm back lets watch movies and get blankets and stuff or you could show me the world of supernatural because those boys look good shirtless and in general. Pretty much I miss you AND I'M FLYING HOME ON THE 16TH AT TWO OR WHATEVER AND WE SHOULD GO OUT SOON AFTER THAT OR SOMETHING :33
Door shut, lights off, curtains closed, bag of chocolate, my bed, and Supernatural. Just let me hide from the world.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be– My Dove chocolate as I reach for another one in bed.
I don't understand OkCupid.
How can you be a 79% match, a 65% friend, and a 23% enemy all at once? Where does all this come from? WHY HASN’T ANYONE MESSAGED ME YET.
It was psychology.
Broham: *points to my book* What's that word say?
Me: I dunno, sound it out.
M: right.. so what word does that make?
M: oh haw haw you're hilarious
B: What? Isn't that the word? p-s-y make the "pussy" sound right? so it's pussycology. I figured it out!
Not going to a party because I have to study for a...
I feel so responsible but I’m probably just going to think about what I could have been doing for the rest of the night instead of actually studying. womp womp