May 2012
Watchbuddha know all; buddha see all.
we have this wall decoration thing of an inset of buddha’s head and no matter where you are, he is always looking at you.
i made the mistake of sitting in front of it while looking at nsfw tumblrs for a good hour. should really think about these things next time.
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[[MORE]]okay so with some effort I did it but right as I finished I sneezed and ugh you guys i am SO. FUCKING. UPSET.
now i’m twice as tired and i don’t even get a euphoric high and i don’t even want to clean up. it’s on my leg and i keep looking at it like, “get the fuck back in here. we’re doing this again the right way.”
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[[MORE]]
you know you’re really sick when you’re too tired to even masturbate.
i’m not sure if i can even get it up without an aneurysm or something
i told you not to click it..
April 2012
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I’m going to start my speech off with “Hi my name is Doug and I’d like to take this chance to apologize for my diarrhea of the mouth” because I have done absolutely nothing to prepare for this class.
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I like the scene in Titanic where that old couple is on their bed while the boat’s sinking because they’re just like, “We’ll just crash here for the night” and then the Titanic is like, “So will I.”
I have the sniffles
this speech needs to be 5 minutes long ugh why
I started 4 hours ago and still have nothing accomplished
i keep finding an excuse not to do this homework ie. powerpuff girls is on right now
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I will do anything if you write my speech for me.
Anything.
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I just came back from Burger King with Broham and...
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Homophobic? Maybe You're Gay →
WHY are political and religious figures who campaign against gay rights so often implicated in sexual encounters with same-sex partners?
In recent years, Ted Haggard, an evangelical leader who preached that homosexuality was a sin, resigned after a scandal involving a former male prostitute; Larry Craig, a United States senator who opposed including sexual orientation in hate-crime legislation,...
i’m talking to this guy i just met right now and when he told me that he liked helping out the community a lot i replied with, “omg boner points.” i meant to say bonus points. it’s been 10 minutes and he hasn’t responded since.
i’m pretty sure browsing lookbook is worse than browsing the urbanoutfitter site cause then you feel poor and unattractive. a combo surely made to send you to your early death.
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Anonymous asked: do you enjoy shaving your legs?
“Oh right, it’s Earth day” I said as I printed 18 pages of notes.
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Romantic comedy-worthy events that could happen...
I spill my drink on him
My sleeve catches on fire (we’re going to korean barbeque. as if california’s not hot enough already)
I pull out literally the worst pun pick-up lines* ex. “Hey baby, I dunno what’s hotter, california or you’
everything turns out great and we go for round 2
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lol who set california on fire?
b2ng asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post seven things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them ♥ ^O^
aditami asked: oh you terrible terrible human being. laughing at a poor child's misfortune. he'll probably grow up being terrified of any little bird coming his way. i shall pray for your soul.
WatchI laughed at this far too hard to be considered a nice person.
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Send a text to dude you're talking to.
Immediately go back and reread it to make sure you don’t sound like an idiot.
paranoidparrot.jpg
Dad woke me up from my nap to teach him how to...
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Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake Whoa, make the ground move, that’s an ass quake Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass-state
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Watchaditami:
OMFG I can’t stop laughing! bahahahahaha.
sooooooo good
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WatchYou can hate Glee all you want but you have to admit their mash-ups are pretty damn amazing.
art-fart:
Stupid bitch thinks she’s an artist because she can melt crayons with her hairdryer.
